“They say the Devil’s water, it ain’t so sweet. You don’t have to drink right now, but you can dip your feet every once and a while…”
“You play forgiveness. Watch it now! Here he comes…He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus!”
“So I ran with the devil, left a trail of excuses…”
“He’s stuck on his mom, because that bitch keeps tryna make him pray…”
Religion. It’s dictionary definition is “belief in divinity” or “system of beliefs”. Mayhaps it’s not obvious through my blog, but I am somewhat religious. The only reason I say ‘somewhat’ is that nowadays calling yourself religious means you’re some sort of Old World freak who wears long skirts, has a purity ring, and goes to Bible Study on Friday night with Bingo afterwards. *sigh* In case you’re wondering, I do not partake in any of these activities. But I do have a religion!
I’m an Eastern Orthodoxian (is that a word?). To be specific, Ethiopian Orthodox. Because, y’know, I’m…Ethiopian. Yeah.
Anyhow, let me clear some things up to those who’ve never heard of this religion.
ç We’re Orthodox; but not Jewish.
ç We’re Evangelical; but not Protestant.
ç We’re Catholic; but not Roman.
I believe in my religion, but I’m not some sort of uber-Christian. I eff up a lot. Saying ‘eff’ BTW is probably wrong as well. Some Christians I know are actually…quite horrid people. My basic strategy for adhering to my religion and doing what I believe God thinks is right and what I believe is right is simple. ‘Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself.’ Flawless rule!
It’s sort of drilled into my mind now. Whenever I say something or do something or think something there’s a little part of my brain (kind of like the angel and devil that stand on your shoulders in cartoons) that asks me “Well, ____, how would you feel if ___ did this to you? Hmm?”. So, I behave. Most of the time.
Misconceptions that need to be cleared up about Orthodox Christians:
Q: Don’t you guys have to, like, dress modestly and stuff? Like, long skirt and plain hair and stuff?
A: Nope. I mean, don’t get me wrong some people choose to! Personally, I don’t think God cares about what I wear in the slightest. It’s not what you are, it’s what you do. ß Wow, check out my wisdom! w00t!
Q: If there’s a God, explain murders and death and rapes and wars.
A: Okay, first off, DEATH. Would you really want to live forever? Go through the mundane motions everyday with no end, knowing that you’d do the same thing over and over? That’d be dull. Secondly, murders/rapes/wars. God is powerful and everything…But he gave us free will. You. Are. Free. To do whatever the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks you want! God didn’t murder, or rape, or declare the wars. People did all that. And, how would you feel about Him taking away your free will to make everything all peaceful and whatnot?
Q: But then why are Christians all holier than thou?
A: Ugh. Personally, I absolutely loathe those types of Christians. It’s not my place to judge, but it seems all wrong. I’m a quiet believer, myself. Sure, I wear a cross all the time, and one of those bracelets on occasion, but I don’t go around saying “Do you know the reason for the season? It’s JEE-SUHS, CHILD!”
I’m not even kidding though. This lady at the bank was ranting about that for a while. It got irritating to be honest.
Anyway, for anyone out there who would like to learn about Christianity, but doesn’t really wanna read the Bih-blay, I suggest The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs.
It’s not a self-help book or anything. Just a tale of “One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible”. Bam.
Alright, gotta go.
I’m watching Doctor Who. J